Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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