that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
