What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
