If i come over, it means nothing
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
