I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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