Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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