made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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