omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
