If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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