I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
