SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize