Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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