I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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