I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
