I have demons in me.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
