I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's never too late to be topless.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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