Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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