Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
