well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
