So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
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Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
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because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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