Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
