Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
