Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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