i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
