4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just google imaged poop.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize