you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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