So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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