I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
