i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
