Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
