you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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