She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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