Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
