Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
