I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
