Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
