Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize