I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
