Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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