I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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