Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
