I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize