wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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