does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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