Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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