so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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