fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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