We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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