I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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