Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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