a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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