Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I've rolled joints bigger than that penis. http://tfl.nu/pgx0
  Replies (29) Good night (813) Bad night (4603)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"? http://tfl.nu/6zhr
  Replies (34) Good night (2270) Bad night (3063)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age... http://tfl.nu/y336
  Replies (63) Good night (3684) Bad night (2625)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity. http://tfl.nu/nf2x
  Replies (20) Good night (5435) Bad night (1279)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem. http://tfl.nu/rwe9
  Replies (12) Good night (5053) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early. http://tfl.nu/8f7a
  Replies (17) Good night (6658) Bad night (1966)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/m09q
  Replies (25) Good night (4090) Bad night (2629)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there. http://tfl.nu/9vdb
  Replies (6) Good night (1259) Bad night (2234)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I swear to god he's a one man village people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I swear to god he's a one man village people. http://tfl.nu/tro1
  Replies (13) Good night (3022) Bad night (1265)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am. http://tfl.nu/mpww
  Replies (10) Good night (2563) Bad night (1693)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time. http://tfl.nu/7ckj
  Replies (15) Good night (3184) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std? http://tfl.nu/jhp0
  Replies (17) Good night (1405) Bad night (3332)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid http://tfl.nu/otel
  Replies (8) Good night (1080) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA? http://tfl.nu/u8oz
  Replies (4) Good night (805) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that? http://tfl.nu/7o3y
  Replies (10) Good night (1444) Bad night (467)

Randomize