apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes