I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave