How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.