Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(631): View more from New York

If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me. http://tfl.nu/ugtt

Replies (8) Good night (845) Bad night (1329)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting. http://tfl.nu/24nu

Replies (56) Good night (7643) Bad night (1177)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you. http://tfl.nu/ijol

Replies (22) Good night (3718) Bad night (739)
Favorite
(815): View more from Illinois

I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(815): I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair. http://tfl.nu/f22e

Replies (12) Good night (657) Bad night (3889)
Favorite
(510): View more from California

I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(510): I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/v2uu

Replies (5) Good night (1100) Bad night (2640)
Favorite
(925): View more from California

I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(925): I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible. http://tfl.nu/f1y0

Replies (7) Good night (3854) Bad night (799)
Favorite
(858): View more from California

He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(858): He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities http://tfl.nu/i2zo

Replies (3) Good night (2809) Bad night (678)
Favorite
(920): View more from Wisconsin

I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(920): I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat http://tfl.nu/rpn1

Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (1348)
Favorite
(312): View more from Illinois

I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(312): I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having. http://tfl.nu/dhko

Replies (6) Good night (622) Bad night (1581)
Favorite
(916): View more from California

Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(916): Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home http://tfl.nu/dlwc

Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (1616)
Favorite
(775): View more from Nevada

I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(775): I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab http://tfl.nu/nlzo

Replies (2) Good night (1174) Bad night (284)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party. http://tfl.nu/n2f5

Replies (6) Good night (359) Bad night (830)
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them http://tfl.nu/2ptj

Replies (1) Good night (233) Bad night (577)
Favorite
(936): View more from Texas

If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(936): If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home. http://tfl.nu/6ayk

Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (199)
Favorite
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(267): do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate? http://tfl.nu/3j8j

Replies (3) Good night (596) Bad night (199)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: