Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.