Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.

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  (678): Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box. http://tfl.nu/7k9p
  Replies (12) Good night (764) Bad night (3446)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Since when do you wear a bracelet?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs

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  (508): Since when do you wear a bracelet? (603): Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs http://tfl.nu/cgne
  Replies (11) Good night (5718) Bad night (688)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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  (207): I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well http://tfl.nu/bwmv
  Replies (42) Good night (989) Bad night (6391)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time

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  (817): You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time http://tfl.nu/ixfn
  Replies (44) Good night (7345) Bad night (4028)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.

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  (617): After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left. http://tfl.nu/2zbc
  Replies (1) Good night (5135) Bad night (814)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...

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  (419): having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance... http://tfl.nu/f7dv
  Replies (7) Good night (2688) Bad night (834)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.

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  (303): Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking. http://tfl.nu/1gdj
  Replies (3) Good night (1804) Bad night (605)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth

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  (412): I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth http://tfl.nu/07bl
  Replies (3) Good night (1455) Bad night (571)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.

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  (801): There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume. http://tfl.nu/bk3r
  Replies (7) Good night (1382) Bad night (755)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing

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  (208): Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing http://tfl.nu/2w9q
  Replies (7) Good night (374) Bad night (798)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.

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  (321): When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week. http://tfl.nu/6col
  Replies (11) Good night (672) Bad night (1526)
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  (925): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop

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  (925): I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop http://tfl.nu/0pj9
  Replies (1) Good night (775) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall

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  (860): I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall http://tfl.nu/remv
  Replies (8) Good night (751) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.

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  (612): Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt. http://tfl.nu/hm2f
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.

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  (248): I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious. http://tfl.nu/rvem
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (229)

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