Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  # days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279

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  (281): # days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279 http://tfl.nu/pu81
  Replies (6) Good night (1214) Bad night (491)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.

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  (609): I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak. http://tfl.nu/euel
  Replies (35) Good night (677) Bad night (1951)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work

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  (304): I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work http://tfl.nu/ovrn
  Replies (31) Good night (4795) Bad night (766)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.

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  (203): i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool. http://tfl.nu/2evd
  Replies (21) Good night (1071) Bad night (7397)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.

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  (405): You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow. http://tfl.nu/0l2h
  Replies (6) Good night (3789) Bad night (922)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...

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  (319): Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts... http://tfl.nu/b46l
  Replies (13) Good night (2017) Bad night (846)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.

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  (859): I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn. http://tfl.nu/8uge
  Replies (5) Good night (1513) Bad night (1056)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

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  (410): So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie. http://tfl.nu/7rxk
  Replies (13) Good night (1582) Bad night (720)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication

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  (717): Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication http://tfl.nu/j4oj
  Replies (11) Good night (1090) Bad night (623)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!

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  (970): Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!! http://tfl.nu/2nfr
  Replies (1) Good night (1005) Bad night (546)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"

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  (608): I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!" http://tfl.nu/mxo7
  Replies (9) Good night (1215) Bad night (538)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out

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  (425): Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out http://tfl.nu/jvnh
  Replies (1) Good night (639) Bad night (323)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.

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  (248): I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice. http://tfl.nu/pazi
  Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (381)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.

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  (678): actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting. http://tfl.nu/fq7i
  Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (373)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this

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  (775): He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this http://tfl.nu/dg9b
  Replies (1) Good night (652) Bad night (521)

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