With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
