fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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