yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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