Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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