I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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