Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
