hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she smelled like a LAN party
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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