I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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