Dual....:-)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
