just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
