Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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