he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
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Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
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Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.