Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course