He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm too high and old for this...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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