Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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