Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
