what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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